Listening to Disney songs on Pandora with the wee one yesterday, the song from Tangled struck me differently than it used to. It used to be a duet. Now it's a solo….
Many times I have described my feelings after October as coming out of the fog. It took awhile. I had to shake the thoughts and feelings that had permeated my mind for so long. There were thoughts about myself, my capabilities, feelings of hopelessness and frustration. There are still moments of frustration, for sure. After all I'm still human. And I'm a parent. Pretty sure it is impossible to be alive and also a parent and not feel frustrated at some point (like when your child pours a giant full cup of water on you while they are in the tub and you are sitting on the floor beside them and your clothes are soaking wet but you know they didn't do it on purpose, but man that's annoying…). Here's the song lyrics:
All those days watching from the windows
All those years outside looking in
All that time never even knowing
Just how blind I've been
Now I'm here blinking in the starlight
Now I'm here suddenly I see
Standing here it's all so clear
I'm where I'm meant to be
And at last I see the light
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything looks different
Now that I see you
All those days chasing down a daydream
All those years living in a blur
All that time never truly seeing
Things, the way they were
Now she's here shining in the starlight
Now she's here suddenly I know
If she's here it's crystal clear
I'm where I'm meant to go
And at last I see the light
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it's like the sky is new.
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything is different
Now that I see you
Now that I see you
I feel like me again.
Many times I have described my feelings after October as coming out of the fog. It took awhile. I had to shake the thoughts and feelings that had permeated my mind for so long. There were thoughts about myself, my capabilities, feelings of hopelessness and frustration. There are still moments of frustration, for sure. After all I'm still human. And I'm a parent. Pretty sure it is impossible to be alive and also a parent and not feel frustrated at some point (like when your child pours a giant full cup of water on you while they are in the tub and you are sitting on the floor beside them and your clothes are soaking wet but you know they didn't do it on purpose, but man that's annoying…). Here's the song lyrics:
All those days watching from the windows
All those years outside looking in
All that time never even knowing
Just how blind I've been
Now I'm here blinking in the starlight
Now I'm here suddenly I see
Standing here it's all so clear
I'm where I'm meant to be
And at last I see the light
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything looks different
Now that I see you
All those days chasing down a daydream
All those years living in a blur
All that time never truly seeing
Things, the way they were
Now she's here shining in the starlight
Now she's here suddenly I know
If she's here it's crystal clear
I'm where I'm meant to go
And at last I see the light
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it's like the sky is new.
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything is different
Now that I see you
Now that I see you
And honestly the "you" that I see is actually me. I didn't see that for awhile. I hope some of you sang that as you read it...
When I was in LA and felt myself genuinely laughing again one morning wit, I actually composed a little ditty about it and sang it to Cameron in my sister's apartment. You can't get the wonderful tune I came up with via blog (holding up my sarcasm sign), but you can get the idea. Think whimsical and upbeat. :)
I feel like me again.
The "me" I like again.
And now I smile again.
And now I laugh again.
Cuz I am free again.
I'm free to love again.
And live my life again.
Things are getting good. And I'm glad I'm here to see it.