For some reason that tag line variation I came up with today while lost in thought made me crack up. Grief is not funny. But I laughed nonetheless. We are pretty good at that in my family-humor is like a bandaid temporarily lightening the moment. But we are also real with each other. Balance. Wit and truth.
Through all that has happened this year, I am so glad that I have such an amazing family. I have had hours-long conversations with parents, sisters, cousins. We laugh all the time, but I can also vent and know that they will listen and encourage when I am feeling crappy. They have grieved alongside me as best they can for the end of my marriage, the loss of the town and state I thought I would live in forever, and the death of the dog who was a huge part of my world.
In addition to myself, I grieve for lots of things for Cameron too. She is so precious, and she deserves the best life possible. I know this life is safer and happier than what would have been but it is still hard to swallow that she is a child of divorce. With that grief I now feel excitement though at the prospect of fulfilling some of the ideals I had for raising her in Bend even if we can't be there anymore. There is better for us out there.
With my grief comes a side of happy, and it's bigger than the main course! The tide is turning.